Tina Fey As Sarah Palin: Katie Couric SNL Skit (VIDEO) Transcript

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Transcript:

ANNOUNNCER: “And now, part 4 of Katie Couric’s

interview with the Alaska Governor, Sarah Palin”

(Crowd Cheering)

POEHLER AS COURIC: “Governor Palin, Thank you

for agreeing to talk with me one more time.”

FEY AS PALIN: “Oh, hey, you know, sure.”

(laughter)

POEHLER AS COURIC: “Did you enjoy your week in

New York City?”

FEY AS PALIN: “You know, I did Katie. I wasn’t

sure I would at first. You know New York is home

to the Liberal Media Elite, but Todd and the

kids had a great time going to the Central Park,

and the FAO Schwarz, and that goofy evolution

museum.”

(laughter)

POEHLER AS COURIC: “So it sounds like the trip

was a success?”

FEY AS PALIN: “Well, there were some funny

moments. For instance, I had 15-20 false alarms,

where I thought I saw Osama Bin Laden drivin’ a

taxi.”

(laughter)

FEY AS PALIN: “I was embarrassed to be wrong,

but mostly disappointed I wasn’t right.”

Also, in an effort to bone up on foreign policy,

I went to the Times Square Area to see a film

called the Bush Doctrine. It was not about

politics.”

(laughter)

POEHLER AS COURIC: “You went to the UN for the

first time. How was that experience?”

FEY AS PALIN: “Oh, you know, it was just

amazing, so many interesting people – though I

have to say I was disheartened by how many of

them were foreigners.”

(laughter)

I promise that when Senator McCain and I are

Elected, we’re gonna get those jobs back in

American hands.”

(laughter)

POEHLER AS COURIC: “How did the world leaders

you met with react to you?”

FEY AS PALIN: “They embraced me, both

figuratively, and a couple of those Pakistani

guys literally.

But they were all so welcoming, from ? the

president of Afghanistan, Jilaal Talabani, the

president of Iraq, or Bono, the king of

Ireland.”

POEHLER AS COURIC: “On foreign policy, I want to

give you one more chance to explain your claim

that you have foreign policy experience based on

Alaska’s proximity to Russia. What did you mean

by that?”

FEY AS PALIN: “Well, Alaska and Russia are only

separated by a narrow maritime border. (using

her hands to illustrate) You got Alaska here,

this right here is water, and this is Russia.

So, we keep an eye on them.”

POEHLER AS COURIC: “And how do you do that

exactly?”

FEY AS PALIN: “Well, Alaska and Russia are only

separated by a narrow maritime border. (using

her hands to illustrate) You got Alaska here,

this right here is water, and this is Russia.

So, we keep an eye on them.”

POEHLER AS COURIC: “And how do you do that

exactly?”

FEY AS PALIN: “Every morning, when Alaskans wake

up, one of the first things they do, is look

outside to see if there are any Russians hanging

around. And if there are, you gotta go up to

them and ask, ‘What are you doing here?’ and if

they can’t give you a good reason, it’s our

responsibility to say, you know, ‘Shoo! Get back

over there!’

POEHLER AS COURIC: “Senator McCain attempted to

shut down his political campaign this week in

order to deal with the economic crisis. What’s

your opinion of this potential 700 billion

dollar bailout?”

FEY AS PALIN: “Like every American I’m speaking

with, we’re ill about this. We’re saying, ‘Hey,

why bail out Fanny and Freddie and not me?’ But

ultimately what the bailout does is, help those

that are concerned about the healthcare reform

that is needed to help shore up our economy to

help…uh…it’s gotta be all about job

creation, too. Also, too, shoring up our economy

and putting Fannie and Freddy back on the right

track and so healthcare reform and reducing

taxes and reigning in spending…’cause Barack

Obama, y’know…has got to accompany tax

reductions and tax relief for Americans, also,

having a dollar value meal at restaurants.

That’s gonna help. But one in five jobs being

created today under the umbrella of job

creation. That, you know…Also…”

POEHLER AS COURIC: “What lessons have you

learned from Iraq and how specifically, would

you spread democracy abroad?”

FEY AS PALIN: “Specifically, we would make every

effort possible to spread democracy abroad to

those who want it.”

POEHLER AS COURIC: “Yes, but specifically what

would you do?”

FEY AS PALIN: “We’re gonna promote freedom.

Usher in democratic values and ideals. And fight

terror-loving terrorists.”

POEHLER AS COURIC: “But again, and not to

belabor the point. One specific thing.”

(several seconds of FEY and POEHLER staring at

each other)

FEY AS PALIN: “Katie, I’d like to use one of my

lifelines.”

POEHLER AS COURIC: “I’m sorry?”

FEY AS PALIN: “I want to phone a friend.”

POEHLER AS COURIC: “You don’t have any

lifelines.”

FEY AS PALIN: “Well in that case I’m gonna just

have to get back to you!”

POEHLER AS COURIC: “Forgive me, Mrs. Palin, but

it seems to me that when cornered, you become

increasingly adorable.
Is that fair to say?”

FEY AS PALIN: “I don’t know is it? (high pitched

gun sounds)”

(laughter)

POEHLER AS COURIC: “Governor Palin, is there

anything else you’d like to say, other than

“Live from New York, it’s Saturday Night”?

FEY AS PALIN: “Yes. Live from New York, it’s

Saturday Night!”

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3 thoughts on “Tina Fey As Sarah Palin: Katie Couric SNL Skit (VIDEO) Transcript

  1. Bill! Thanks so much for doing the transcript. Have you thought about adding a PayPal button so that people can send their donations. I would in a blink.

    Like

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    If anybody would like to show their appreciation with a tax-deductible donation to them (501c3 charitable org name “Deaf Etc”), I would sincerely appreciate it.

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    They are involved in advocacy, and are working with the Emergency services in the area to ensure the communication of safety information to the deaf.

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